I Can’t Win, I’m a Stubborn, Insensative, Irritating Asshole

Posted: July 6, 2009 in Misc Stuff
Tags: , ,

Occasionally over the course of my 36 years on this Earth I have come across a handful of individuals who retreat into a passive aggressive shell whilst arguing or while engaging in a friendly exchange of words. These people more often than not say or do something to upset me and when I react or go on the offensive after they’ve done that, they vilify me and emphatically claim I started the argument or am an unfair aggressor. Now to be fair and honest I’m the type of person who believes in the eye for an eye philosophy and when I do react my actions, words, and demeanor tend to reflect that of the aggressor opposite of me. There are many people who find persons such as myself offensive, crude, and a “know it all”, but being labeled as such things only occurs during an argument or debate that’s gone south. A recent argument gone awry prompted the drafting of this post, an argument which I was accused of starting though in reality all I did to anger this person was suggest we take a look at a picture that had just been taken prior to taking a second picture of the exact same thing.

The picture was taken with a webcam and was rather simple in nature. The software that operates the camera allows you to review any images you’ve taken, both new and old. My train of thought and common sense told me “hey let’s take a look at what we have before we take another one” though taking a second would have required mere seconds of our time. It takes only seconds to review a photo and to take a second one if the quality of the original is less than desirable so this individual’s reaction to my recommendation was one of bewilderment as they quickly became irritated and claimed (paraphrasing) “why can’t I take a second picture if I want too? What’s your problem?”

From this point the argument turned rather childish and anger on both sides ensued. My anger stemmed from bafflement and was more a reaction to this individuals actions while theirs was just anger fueled by my earlier suggestion. As we exchanged comments I became the recipient of the same tired labels and comments that I have grown accustomed to over the years and only because I chose to react to what I believed to be poor behavior. Some where implied while others still where stated openly.

In any argument friendly or otherwise all I ever ask is that the individual with whom I’m arguing provide me with reason, proof, or evidence that contradicts my argument. As an open minded individual I have no problem in admitting that I’m wrong but when it’s stated “you think you’re always right or “that’s right I’m always wrong”, I call into question the validity of any argument made against me by that individual because such a response does nothing to add credence to the argument they’ve made against me and makes it appear as though the individual opposing me knows very little about which they speak of and/or is incapable of putting together the type of thought required to make a valid argument.

As a human being I have opinions just like everyone else. If you’re gnashing your teeth over something I’ve stated I believe or have seen to be truth, yet you disagree, am I asking to much when I ask an opposing party to provide me with an explanation as to why they feel I’m wrong? As I stated I’m always open to a different point of view but I do not accept blanket statement, assumptions, gut feelings and emotional responses as fact or proof of anything. I also find it completely unacceptable when any persons with whom I argue express discontent with me over my asking for clear reasoning, motivation, or proof. Why any individual believes it OK to make a statement, claim, or accuse me of something and not explain in detail why they feel I’m incorrect in my statements or beliefs will forever be beyond my comprehension. Excuses such as “I don’t have to”, “It’s not my problem’, etc. only show me that the individual has found themselves in the weak position within the argument and are operating only on emotion. I also find such excuses indicative of egoism, ignorance, and immaturity. It’s difficult for me to imagine an individual who would make such claims or present a counter argument against me yet refuse to back them up with any logic or reasoning even when I’m in the midst of such an occurrence. The burden of proof lies with any individual who makes a claim of any kind yet for some reason anytime I’ve argued or debated with these few select people they are only angered by statements such as this.

By the time today’s argument reached this apex, the usual implications began rearing their ugly heads. “Oh it’s logic again”, and “uh huh, yea everything revolves around logic and reasoning right?” made their way into the conversation. Every time I’ve heard statements such as these I find myself at a lose for words. If things don’t revolve around reasoning and logic or you don’t apply those thing to your daily life, decision making, etc, how does anyone get by and by what means does anyone make decisions? Logic and reasoning allow us to do just that, get by and make decisions we feel are best for us, so yes, logic and reasoning are an everyday part of our lives so why would this individual, who happens to be quite intelligent, make such assertions? I can only conclude that they do so because the conversation has reached a point that is beyond their comprehension, they really have no answer, are responding out of pride knowing they have lost the argument, or perhaps they just loathe me and want to see me put in my place. Many times when confronted with these types of statements I also find myself believing that they make such assertions based on the emotions they are experiencing at that time, anger, frustration, embarrassment, and even some they may not even know they’re feeling. In any case regardless of why they say such things, I find myself with very little and sometimes nothing to say as was the case tonight.

I was then accused of repeating myself which I was indeed guilty of but when I ask an individual to explain their argument and they refuse to provide with any anything my natural response is to try and introduce some logic and reasoning of my own into the conversation, though this only seemed to irritate the individual even more which resulted in the same responses I’ve heard most of my life. “I don’t have to give you a reason” is a cop out and a rather poor excuse for one I might add. As a courtesy and sometimes to make my point I always make it a priority to explain myself and provide the persons I’m arguing with, with my reasoning and logic, even if that person is the bitterest of enemies. I would think that anyone involved in an argument would want to make their point or their side of things crystal clear in the hope of either winning the argument or showing the opposing party why and just how wrong they are. In the argument I was involved in today however, no such reasoning was made known to me.

I don’t believe I’m asking for much when I ask for these things during an argument with either friend or foe and if I am indeed wrong or incorrect in my arguments I want to know about it. I have no desire to remain ignorant and find no shame in being wrong. I find it somewhat shameful that any individual would feel differently about this and accuse me of being a know-it-all, stubborn, or using “big” words to pretend I’m intelligent or to try and intimidate them simply because they disagree with my stance on something or find my reactions inappropriate. I am none of these things and welcome being criticized but by people who are capable of and willing to present a carefully reasoned argument with something to back their point of view. Arguing or debating and refusing to provide a motive or reason for an argument always appears both immature and is the equivalent of a child responding with “SOOOOOOO WHAT!” or “I DON’T WANT TO”. Does demanding such things make me an asshole? I think not, if anything it would allow me and any party who might disagree with me to either agree to disagree or maybe…just maybe to see things in a different light and settle the debate. I don’t have the type of pride that would keep me from admitting I’m wrong but if you want me to see that I am wrong I require you to demonstrate just how and/or why I am. If you’re not prepared to do that in an argument, why argue at all and why be angry?

The argument I participated in tonight reminded me a lot of the debates I’ve had with Theists in both the recent and distant past. Anytime I ask why or attempt to apply common sense, logic, and present counter arguments backed by facts and proof, the conversation quickly goes from one of friendly debate to heated personal argument. I’ll never understand any of this no matter how long I live. Are these people angry or just insecure? I’ll never know.

…and I’m the asshole here?

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